The Power Of Mooing

Greetings, curious internet traveler! It's super happy internet story time, with Xydexx Squeakypony!

Once upon a time, Xydexx lured Kindrift into an abandoned building and started mooing at him. It echoed through the darkness like something out of a surreal bovine horror movie, and disturbed Kindrift greatly because he couldn't hear the coyotes in his head talking to him.

Kindrift sat on a pile of rubble and cried buckets of coyote tears, surrounded by a cacaphony of mooing and snorting and belching. He was sad because all he wanted to do was fool around with a sexy inflatable unicorn stallion, but Xydexx denied him this pleasure. Waugh! Poor Kindrift!

Eventually, Xydexx got tired of his moosical (see what I did there?) serenade and started feeling sorry for Kindrift, so he took him quantity surveying as a sort of consolation prize. They both had a splendid time, and Kindrift never had nightmares about cows ever again. The end.

Xydexx believes in mooing on the internet.

Horse Noses

Many people believe that Xydexx worships yaks naked by candlelight. The truth is, Xydexx worships horse noses. Horse noses are awesome, and Xydexx is all about spreading awesome around the internet. So here, as a public service, we present a horse nose for your internet viewing pleasure.

Xydexx says horsey noses are the best.

Clearly, horse noses help improve Furry fandom by increasing the amount of awesome in it. Everyone should have one. They are soft and snuggleable.

Xydexx rides his weirdo bike around the countryside looking for horse noses. Usually one is attached to a horse. (If it isn't, then something is very wrong. Find another.) Nothing makes a day more awesome than getting nuzzles from a horse, because horses are the best of all the animals.

Internet Prawn

Xydexx has been known to draw naughty things and not show them to anyone. This is known as pn0y pr0n, and it's what the internet is for.

The internet is also for prawns. Prawns are lots of fun. Here's something fun to do with prawns: Put one in your mouth because you go for your annual dental exam. Then when the dental hygenist asks you to open your mouth, hilarity ensues! It works every time!

Xydexx says the internet is for prawn.

Wait, no... that's a terrible idea actually. Forget I suggested it.

The internet is not only for internet prawns, but for horse conch. I was visiting an aquarium once, and there was a horse conch on display. "Let me show you my horse conch!" I yelled, before being led out by Security. Fun times.

Sometimes there are leafy sea dragons at aquariums, which are just a whole other level of awesome.

Would you like to see my horse conch?

Xydexx Squeakypony

Xydexx Squeakypony is an inflatable lavender unicorn who is building a bridge to the land of fucking awesome.

Xydexx's Wonder Wheel, full of abandoned buildings and furry fandom.

Here's a closer look at some of my interests:

• abandoned buildings – Anyone who's anyone who knows about me knows about my obsession with abandoned buildings and urban exploration. Sometimes (in West Virginia) we even get shot at over it!
• bannerman's castle – Bannerman's Castle is an abandoned weapons arsenal that sits on an island in the middle of the Hudson River. I used to explore the place every summer for about a decade.
• breakneck mountain – Breakneck Mountain is near Bannerman's Castle, on the border of Putnam and Dutchess County. I used to go hiking here frequently when I lived in New York.
• c&o canal – The C&O Canal is a 184-mile canal that runs along the Potomac River from Cumberland, MD to Washington DC. It was abandoned in 1928. I hope to ride the entire length of it someday.
• furry convention – Yay, furries! Furry conventions feature artwork, writing, costuming, and workshops, about anthropomorphic animals. I am Publications Director for the Anthrocon, the world's largest Furry convention.
• furry fandom – Yay, furries again! Furry fandom is a hobby which focuses on cartoon animals. (Most people don't know what big words like "anthropomorphic" mean, so "cartoon animals" is probably a better frame of reference.)
• modern ruins – This ties in with my obsession with abandoned buildings. Phillip Buehler's webpage of modern ruins photography was one of the first ones I found, so it's the term I use on my own page.
• oatmeal raisin – I've been doing a lot of baking lately, so this references Xydexx's Nomnomnommy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies recipe posted elsewhere.